#HereIsMySoulQuilt :: living my life with intention
My one life
This life I'm living is the only one I get - or at least, I have no knowledge of getting a chance to do any of this over. Maybe it's my birthday just past and the reminder that with it, I'm two years away from 40. It could be the deaths of older (but not that old) extended family members in the last few years. It is definitely the fact that I am in therapy and no longer acutely struggling. Most likely, this mid-life awakening has been triggered by all these things.
What I know for certain
I want to enjoy my one life. I want to let go of the "shoulds" and be present in the moment. I want more of what brings me joy and more of knowing my own worth. I want to care naught what others think, but do good because I can, give my time and attention because this is my most valuable asset, and model this behavior for my children because I wish joyful lives for them.
Conscious and empowering
I recently read an article about how we often fall short of the promises we make to ourselves to do better. A reflexive action can be replaced with a more conscious and empowering one by changing our mindset. Instead of making promises to oneself to "do better", a plan is made to replace the less desirable action with a more desirable one. Each time the recurring problem presents itself, another opportunity to respond differently is given.
Positive feedback loops & a plan
Last year, I fell head over heels for the Quilt Your Life practice championed by Kitty Wilkin and started two quilts. My #ManyTheMilesQuilt gave me the push to get my body moving. I would run and exercise to add another colored band to that week's block. This created a positive feedback loop. With #FindingMySunshineQuilt the repetition of writing the moments of joy, choosing the fabrics that represented them, and then stitching each circular block also was a positive feedback loop in its way. It felt natural to start thinking of creating a Quilt Your Life project to mark the lead-up to my 40th birthday. Yet, I didn't want to start something new and create another unfinished project more than creating a new project.
I let the ideas roll around in my head, waiting to see where things settled. I thought about the habits I wanted to create for joy and started with a list. A morning routine, surfaces kept clear, laundry moved along, daily time in the garden, eating an early family dinner, hand sewing, connecting with friends, trail running, listening to music. I thought about why I quilt and create, and I realized that I do so because it marks the presence of my one life in this world. I am here - a reminder, primarily, to myself. In quilting, labeling a quilt is an excellent marker of the maker's presence, so the idea suggested by a fellow QYL crew member felt all too fitting. Her idea was to label the projects I currently have in progress as a record of the intensionality I am living. Thus, no new project would be created; I would be encouraged to finish my current works in progress and document my habits for joy.
My plan is to work through my habits - identifying the recurring problem and my reflexive response - and create a plan for having a different response that brings me joy. Documentation through photography, words, and fabric are three methods that build positive feedback loops for me. These will be included in my plans for more empowering actions, and with repetition, new habits will be formed. I would like to create an environmental portrait each month that shows how or what I am working on. Throughout this process, I would like to journal and use those words to guide how I label my quilts. Lastly, I'm excited to continue making personal mini quilts (with the caveat that none are required) and will draw from living my life intentionally.
Follow along via #HereIsMySoulQuilt on Instagram
I have been toying with the idea of labeling my quilts with QR codes that link to a stream of consciousness that I document throughout the construction of the quilt. Maybe there are good days, maybe bad days. I originally began quilting to ensure there were pieces of me that might exist long after I am gone, but lately that hasn't felt like enough. What if I could add an audio clip of laugh for grandchildren or even later? Then hubris pops up and I have sort THOSE feelings out. I will watch with eagerness to see where these revelations take you next.
ReplyDeleteI have been toying with the idea of labeling my quilts with QR codes that link to a stream of consciousness that I document throughout the construction of the quilt. Maybe there are good days, maybe bad days. I originally began quilting to ensure there were pieces of me that might exist long after I am gone, but lately that hasn't felt like enough. What if I could add an audio clip of laugh for grandchildren or even later? Then hubris pops up and I have sort THOSE feelings out. I will watch with eagerness to see where these revelations take you next.
ReplyDelete