monster

Suddenly, it has been three weeks since the last weekly update.  This is overdue to say the least.  In that weird trick of time where each day only creeps but collectively the days shutter-speed by, September is almost over.  And for that I am glad.  The month started with such promise with a long-delayed anniversary trip.  But the reason for the delay became an overwhelming monster that just now might be sinking back into the depths of an iridescent ocean.

This monster thrashed out sticky tentacles that seemed impossible to shake.  Telling me, "you are broken" "this will never go away".  I was severely frustrated and tired to my core both physically and emotionally.  Confined to the square footage of the couch, the days were an endless loop of TV shows on Netflix and pain medication.  The nights were the same and worse because I dreaded them.  I felt like I'd never really sleep again.  How would it even be possible if I couldn't get comfortable and the pain would wake me up?

My monster is named sciatica and it arrived without cause or invitation and has been determined to stick around for months.  It chose this month - at the end of summer and the beginning of fall - to knock me to my knees quite literally.  But I am hopeful that this last offensive {can you tell football season started?} the monster launched has actually set up its own demise.  It led to a diagnosis - even if that took two tries to complete one MRI - and a treatment plan.

Now I wait hoping that each day is better than the last.  I am giddy when I can walk standing up straight and when I can stand long enough to take a shower.  I am just starting to truly believe "this won't last forever."  And that is the best thing.

The good moments this month...

:: a husband who has stepped up with dinners cooked, laundry done and me supported

:: flowers arriving on a hard day - thanks Mom!

:: a ride from my mother-in-law and her calming presence that helped me through the second MRI

:: a mom who drove down, kept me company and took care of me... sometimes you just need your mom

:: rain that poured and put a smile on my face

Today the air felt like fall.  Today was a little bit better than yesterday.  Today I decided I haven't done much creatively this month {I've got a good excuse} but I'm ready to start again.  And that feels wonderful.